I've been wanting to do one of these posts for a while, and now I have an opportunity. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of reading one of these before or who have forgotten the premise, there are people who have the right to speak, but abuse it by saying some really stupid stuff. Thus, in the interest of keeping our heads from exploding, I have to tell these people to SHADDUP!
And now without further ado...
Barack Obama, SHADDUP! You said you wanted to run a different kind of campaign and that you wanted to get away from the "silly season in politics." Yet, what have you done? You've resorted to the same kind of negative campaigning you were against! Don't worry about being "swift boated" by the Republicans. You're doing a fine job of doing that yourself with your lame, backfiring ads.
Barack Obama, SHADDUP! No, this isn't a mistake. After he pulled out of last night's season premiere of "Saturday Night Live", he earned this double SHADDUP. What was his excuse? Hurricane Ike. Yet, where was he? Nowhere near Ike. Instead, rumor has it that he was off...to campaign. To shamelessly use a hurricane as an excuse to campaign and try to salvage a positive image? Congratulations. You've earned the first double SHADDUP in the same post in my history.
Matt Damon, SHADDUP! After seeing the video where you say you don't know about Sarah Palin, but you know she's not fit to be Vice President, you've cemented your position as a Hollywood moron. Not only did you repeat discredited lies, like Palin tried to ban books, but you completely misread her actual positions, like her desire to teach Creationism alongside of evolution when the students ask for it. And you said you wouldn't be able to learn about Palin in the weeks before Election Day. Sounds to me like you've already made up your mind without knowing the facts.
Sean Hannity, SHADDUP! I've heard you talking about how you have "the most complete, the most comprehensive campaign coverage." Yet, it seems you talk to the same people week after week about the same subjects. The only thing that change regularly are the news stories that get used to lead into talking about Jeremiah Wright or William Ayers or whatever talking point you want to push that day. Meanwhile, there are people beyond your studio who actually are covering issues that you miss or gloss over in your rush to try to link a current story to the stories you've covered ad nauseum.
The women on "The View", SHADDUP! As you might have guessed, I'm not a fan of "The View" but not because of its clear political bent. It's because the hosts on the show make women look incredibly bad. Whether it's Joy Behar's idiocy as it pertains to Sarah Palin's wolf hunting or Whoopie Goldberg asking John McCain whether slavery would come back if he would appoint Constitutionalist judges to the Supreme Court, "The View" makes women (and Leftists in general) look shallow and uninformed. And the rest of the hosts, including Elisabeth Hasselbeck, don't help matters any by sitting in silent consent or raising unintelligent objections to issues they discuss. These women are more insulting to their gender than anything Barack Obama and Joe Biden could be.
Daily Kos and Democratic Underground, SHADDUP! It's asshats like you guys that make bloggers look bad. With your constant anti-Bush dementia, your lame McSame/McLame/McBush/McLoser namecalling, and your blatant lies about Sarah Palin, you're laughingstocks. Seriously, the best you can do against Palin is to suggest Trig Palin isn't Sarah's son? If that's the best you can do, George Soros is wasting his money yet again.
Bill O'Reilly, SHADDUP! You had a chance to interview Barack Obama, and from what I've heard, you gave him a lot of leeway. You built your reputation on being tough, and you didn't deliver with someone who has yet to answer the tough questions. Is landing a fluff interview with a controversial political figure more important than getting to the bottom of his positions? Sir, you've lost whatever credibility you had being "no spin." You got spun by Obama.
Charlie Gibson, SHADDUP! I was unimpressed with your interview with Sarah Palin. You asked tough, and at times contentious, questions, which is your job. But I have to wonder if you'd ask the same tough and contentious questions of Barack Obama or Joe Biden. Neither one of them has exactly shown that they can lead the country and their resumes aren't exactly full of leadership experience. Instead, your interview left you look like a smug, disapproving jerk, and Palin looked like she had to school you about what she's done. The sign of a good reporter and interviewer is to have done the legwork about the subject before the interview. Sorry, Charlie, but you came off as amateurish and partisan.